Pedir Desculpas, Desculpar and Perdoar: Apologize or Forgive?
Avoid reversing who apologizes and who grants forgiveness. Original examples and explained practice.
Real Life Portuguese · 5 min read · Updated November 2, 2026
The short answer
Pedir desculpas is what the person apologizing does; desculpar or perdoar can describe the other person's response. Mixing them can reverse who is asking for forgiveness. The verbs also differ in tone and scope, so a quick apology for interrupting is not automatically the same interaction as forgiving a serious hurt.
Start with the situation
Original written teaching examples, not transcripts or new recordings
Use pedir desculpas for making an apology
Pedir desculpas means apologize. The person who made the mistake is the subject, and the reason commonly follows por. You can name the other person with para or a in appropriate contexts. An apology acknowledges an action or effect; it does not guarantee that the listener accepts it. Keep any offer to repair the situation separate so that the practical next step is clear.
Quero pedir desculpas pelo atraso.
I want to apologize for being late.
Pedi desculpas para a Ana.
I apologized to Ana.
Use desculpa or desculpe as the apology itself
Desculpa and desculpe can function as direct apology forms, as well as expressions for interrupting or getting attention. In an apology, what follows clarifies the reason: desculpa por ter interrompido. These forms do not mean that you have already forgiven the other person. Their grammatical shape addresses the listener, while their conversational function can be asking to be excused for your own action.
Desculpa por ter te interrompido.
Sorry for interrupting you.
Use desculpar to excuse someone
Desculpar alguém can describe excusing or forgiving that person for a mistake. Compare pedi desculpas with ela me desculpou: the first describes your apology, and the second her response. In a low-stakes situation, tudo bem or sem problema may be a more ordinary reply than a solemn declaration of forgiveness. Match the response to the relationship and the seriousness of what happened.
Ela me desculpou pelo engano.
She forgave me for the mistake.
Use perdoar when forgiveness is the point
Perdoar emphasizes forgiving and may sound more emotionally significant in many personal situations, though context can also make it light or playful. It can take a person or the wrong being forgiven as its object. Do not assume that receiving an apology obliges anyone to say eu perdoo. A person may need time, and a clear language lesson should leave that choice with them.
Eu te perdoo, mas preciso de um tempo.
I forgive you, but I need some time.
Keep apology, explanation and repair distinct
A useful apology can identify the action, acknowledge its effect and offer a practical repair. An explanation can supply context without turning into a demand for forgiveness. When describing the exchange afterward, report only what happened: you apologized, the person answered or the issue remains open. Do not use desculpou or perdoou merely because you hope the apology was accepted.
Pedi desculpas e ofereci ajuda para resolver o problema.
I apologized and offered help to resolve the problem.
Try it with your own words
Say or write a Portuguese answer before opening the suggestion. Other natural answers can work; compare the meaning and situation, then read the explanation.
Original practice: You want to apologize for forgetting a meeting.
Show a possible answer and explanation
Quero pedir desculpas por ter esquecido a reunião.
Pedir desculpas makes you the person apologizing. The por phrase states the action you are taking responsibility for.
Original practice: A friend forgave your mistake. Keep the friend as subject.
Show a possible answer and explanation
Minha amiga me desculpou pelo erro.
The friend grants forgiveness and me identifies you as its recipient. Eu pedi desculpas would report your earlier apology instead.
Original practice: Reply to a minor accidental interruption naturally.
Show a possible answer and explanation
Tudo bem. Pode continuar.
A small interruption often needs only a proportionate acknowledgment. A formal declaration of forgiveness could add unnecessary emotional weight.
Original practice: You apologized but do not know whether it was accepted. Report accurately.
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Pedi desculpas, mas ainda não sei como ela se sente.
Your apology is established, while her response is not. Saying ela me perdoou would claim an outcome you do not yet know.
Try it with your own example
Rehearse an apology and a separate response granting forgiveness. Keep practicing with the Real Life Portuguese app